Desperate Brays of a Frustrated IT Mule

July 31, 2007

Inspire!!

Filed under: Inspirational — technodonkey @ 12:55 pm

The donkey was really inspired by this amazing piece of work done by Jonathan Harris. Definitely worth 10 looks

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/144

Tech Support ….the way we do it

Filed under: Support — technodonkey @ 12:34 pm

Now thatz a familiar territory to all of us ! Technical Support  ! The primary source of our existence and only mode of survival. Everyone looks upto to our techies to solve their problems.

 indian-tech-support.jpg

Well whatz the raison de success behind our ever so efficient support for user queries being thrown upon the 12,000 rupees a month (a phone line,headsets and free dinner included) guy who almost invariably solves the problem each time ?

Answer – Sympathy.

Our techie support guys  sympathize more with the user rather than showing interest in solving the problem. Heres how a typical conversation between an average to low intelligence possessing support personnel has with an absolutely computer naive unsuspecting user :

UU – Unsuspecting User , AIS – Average IQ Support guy

UU – Hello ?
AIS – Hello ? Hello ?
UU – Yes Hello ?
AIS – Hello ?
UU – Ok i have problems with sending my email today
AIS – Oh u have problems haan ! (being silent)
UU (baffled thinking isnt he going to ask more questions!) – Ok , i try to click the send button but it gives me an error message
AIS – Error Message ? What error message ?  are u  trying to send amail ?
UU (thinking wtf!) – YES , AND IT WONT GO. !
AIS – Okie ! , did u try clicking the button twice or more , sometimes it doesnt send the first time
UU – Yes I did , but it wont work
AIS – Did u try rebooting the machine, sometimes its a problem with the machine
UU – Yes I did that too , but the same problem
AIS – Same problem haan ? Ok let me check on my machine (Click..Clicka Click Click) . After a 5 minute pause and an impatient user . – But its working on my machine .
UU – Ok, what do i do now ?
AIS – ummm, what are u tryign to send ?
UU – Its a presentation zipped and attached
AIS – hmmm, weird problem ! Can you close your application and try again ?
UU (REALLY annoyed) – I TOLD U I DID THAT TWICE, but it wont work
AIS – OK ! Can you try sending a test mail to me ?
UU – Ok, (does so and that fails too)
AIS – See it failed !
UU – I already know that . whatz the solution? I am getting very late now.
AIS – I am not sure .Although I do understand your problem.
UU – Dont u want to know what error message is being displayed?
AIS – Yeah ok. what is the error message
UU – Unable to send mail due at location 0x5FCA7777. Size transmission error.
AIS – Ok there seems to be some machine related problem. Sorry but We dont support that
UU (about to lose it) – Hey ! Everything else works fine ! Hold on! Could it be that my mailbox quota is full and its not allowing me to send more mails because of it ? Can i try cleaning some of my mails and try sending again!
AIS- Yes I think u can try that .

UU tries and the same works just fine.

UU (with extreme Frustration) – THANKS A LOT . YOUR HELP IS INDEED APPRECIATED
AIS – UR WELCOME .BYE. CLICK…

 A Better and more meaningful version of the above conversation can be seen it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noUQTRnF_vY

Reality Bites!

Filed under: Technology — technodonkey @ 7:59 am

Ever pondered over the fact why we are always listed and treated as a third world even in the field of technology !!! Yes , the donkey knows that it hurts to be a part of one ,but the sooner we accept the truth, the better for us to be able to rectify the same.  The Indian IT sector specializes in washing scum from the apparels of the west, and whatz more painful is that it even relishes it like a 6 year old on a half-eaten mango dolly ! . 

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 Donkeys like me always ask the question to self and others ” Why dont we do anything in the field of product development and creation ?, Why do we invariably have to wait for THEM to create and wait like hungry hyenas and vultures waiting for lion to leave the carnal remains for us to consume? –

The answer is simple to understand but hard to swallow.  It is the fear of failure and the tendency to be satisfied with mediocrity. And it is not inborn . It is what is taught everywhere right from corporate firms to management schools and top IT companies. “Dont attempt something if u know that there is even a slightest possibility of failure” .

The donkey doesnt believe India is shining in IT.  99% of the work done by any Indian IT company can be drilled down to one single piece of work “Solving Change Requests (better known as CRs in Indian IT lingo) raised by a dumb business user sitting somewhere in his corner office in the States or Europe” – Thatz about all the work that is being done by Indian IT professionals (Terms like Due Diligence, Impact Analysis , Dependency Documents, Regression Testing, System Appreciation, Six Sigma and Resource Planning are all smaller pieces of a the big jigsaw that ultimately on being completed shows a simple harsh truth –

 “The Change Order has been successfully deployed on the production systems. Kudos to everyone ! Letz organize a project party to celebrate the occassion.Period”

 More to come ……………….

July 30, 2007

Hello Donkey!

Filed under: Hello Donkey — technodonkey @ 1:58 pm

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Hey there !

 If you have managed somehow to cut through the world of technology and every day IT colloquy (read jargon), this will be an entertaining change if not an enlightening one indeed !.

Don’t be mislead by the creature seen on the left . It is not just  the dumb garbage eating ,ever humiliated beast that you think it is . This is an X-Ray-ed copy or a base template of an average IT professional like yours truly working somewhere behind the glassy windows of an IT company (words like Business Process Outsourcing, Solutions Provider, Consulting Expertise can be used interchangeably with no impact whatsoever) . This is just the most drilled down version of him, and also a meaningful insight of the kind of articles that you can expect from this blog which is no more well-informed than the animal itself.

The blog does not have any specifics or any set expectations that it promises to fulfill.  The articles will range from pure technical jargon(a must for survival in the world of today where everything is postfixed by the tag 2.0) , constructive criticism (targeted at people who specialize in servicedesk type of jobs disguised as process consultants), the donkey’s every finds consist of  the information in the world of technology that it crawls onto its back from the source over to its destination here ,some divine knowledge of mediocre IT programmers (not everyone can comprehend function pointers, memory allocation, delegates and indexers) and lots more.

The moot point or mantra for any piece of  information to appear  over here is “If its worth knowing it, the donkey makes sure it reaches you !”

more to come..

 First and Only piece of information available  about the author – an average IT professional some in the southern region of India whose exact whereabouts are not known yet, and who insists on calling himself “the divine donkey” who has as much purpose in life as the piece of page user manual that comes along with your new laser jet scanner that was read only by the person who was paid to find out the bugs in it.

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